August 06
July was a bit of an exciting month for me; so much so that I forgot to write a damn word. Explored the prairies a little in Winnipeg, hit big city life in Toronto and wandered through the capital airport. Don't know what it is about this country, but I am starting to feel that there is more to it than Montreal and I aim to discover as much as I can about it in the next few months. I've always known deep down that there must be something more than the man-beaten paths of the suburban parks and I am finally ready to see for myself just how much this cast country has to offer...
June 19
Fur is starting to get dirty from running on 5-foot high grass that the human is too damn lazy to cut... if only her mother could see that, she would certainly have a heart attack! On the plus side, having super long grass hides nests of all kind of species. Some days I tumble on a group of bees trying to make honey. I love casually prancing by and destroying everything they worked so hard to produce. Every now and then one attempts to sting me, but they never succeed due to all the crap that my fur is covered in. One day I found a dead one that probably got stuck in the sap on my back and suffocated. Next up, grasshoppers!!
May 21
Well life is Montreal is obviously nothing compared to beautiful Turkey, but I have to say that as the weather heats up, this place is not looking so bad. More cats are out and about, and the streets are full of bugs and mice just waiting to get licked. Sometimes I just find a sunny spot on the porch and lie for hours at a time. That is one of the many advantages of having no job, car, relationship or hobby. Why humans complicate their lives with all that crap is beyond me, but I guess they would not be able to buy me delicious cat food if they didn't earn money... Someone really needs to tell them that being a cat is really much better than anything in the world and I wouldn't trade my fur for anything!!
May 01
Excuse my absence as I've been wondering the heavenly streets of Istanbul and Adana in Turkey. I had heard that this country harboured truckloads of cats my the square meter, but had no idea how beautiful each and every one would turn out to be. One could not turn a street corner without seeing half a dozen beauties basking under in the Mediterranean sun. Of all the Middle Eastern countries I have been to or heard the humans discussing, this one stands out the most. It stands between civilized Europe and underdeveloped Asia, but what truly makes it unique is the number of scrumptious felines. The funny thing is that they are treated as equals; cats roaming the street searching for food need not look further than an outdoor dinner table where one can easily find them drinking warm milk or licking the remains of meat-filled plates that patrons have kindly left behind as a token of their appreciation. This is definitely a place worth returning to someday...
April 10
Tips On Cooking Your Pet A Home-Cooked Meal, American Veterinary Medical Association
In the wake of the recent pet food recalls the idea of home-cooked pet food has grown in appeal to some pet owners. The American Veterinary Medical Association (AVMA) warns that preparing a meal for a pet at home is no simple task.
While our pets are an important part of American households, they have very unique nutritional needs. Most importantly, the AVMA warns pet owners against feeding pets table scraps or human food in lieu of commercial pet food. Many foods that humans love to eat can be deadly if ingested by pets.
"Table scraps should definitely not be a part of your pet's diet," said AVMA President Roger Mahr, DVM. "Gravies, meat fats and poultry skin can readily cause stomach and intestinal upsets, and even lead to a life-threatening condition called pancreatitis in dogs. Bones will splinter when chewed and cannot be digested by the animal's system. Chocolate can be poisonous to them, but it tastes good so pets will eat it if they have the opportunity. Dark chocolate used in baking is particularly dangerous to pets, and xylitol - a common sweetener in baked goods - has been linked with liver failure and death in dogs."
The AVMA does not recommend that people attempt to prepare home-cooked meals for their pets because pet nutrition is very complicated and unique to species and individual animals. If you are certain you wish to cook for your pet, the AVMA does recommend you first consult with your veterinarian and do some research on appropriate diets for your pet. A pet owner should only consider recipes for pet food that are developed for dogs or cats by veterinarians or trained professionals in animal nutrition.
Dr. Tony Buffington, DVM, Ph.D., an Ohio State University College of Veterinary Medicine professor of clinical sciences and a member of the AVMA, agrees that preparing food for your pet can be tricky. In the event a pet owner is determined to make pet food at home, he recommends
Home-Prepared Dog & Cat Diets: the Healthful Alternative by Dr. Donald Strombeck as a good cookbook for pets. Dr. Buffington also recommends
www.petdiets.com as one the best Web sites on home-cooked pet diets.
But Dr. Buffington also cautions that it is hard to match the balanced pet diets provided with commercial pet foods in a home-cooked meal for pets, because commercial foods are formulated by professionals trained in veterinary nutrition.
"If your pet is healthy and doing well on the pet food it is currently eating, and the food is not on the recalled products list, there is no reason to change their diet," said Dr. Mahr.
The
AVMA (American Veterinary Medical Association), founded in 1863, is one of the oldest and largest veterinary medical organizations in the world, with more than 75,000 member veterinarians engaged in a wide variety of professional activities. AVMA members are dedicated to advancing the science and art of veterinary medicine including its relationship to public health and agriculture. Visit the AVMA Web site at www.avma.org to learn more about veterinary medicine and animal care and to access up-to-date information on the association's issues, policies and activities.
*Source:
www.avma.orgApril 04
Chatting with a bunch of ugly cats in the neighborhood and came to a realization that most felines are treated better than me. They don't even understand how I find the time to write these damn entries (as few as they are at the moment) as they are all too busy playing with their fake mouse toys, getting fed REAL food or being pet or brushed for the 20th time in any given day. I try to shrug it off as a ruse for mocking me, but I can truly see their fur glistening under the dim, slimy light that hangs over an insomniac's room. For some reason, this seriously aggravates me since all I really want to do is love and be loved... Ha! Yeah right!! Let's face it; I get what I deserve and in my case, I probably deserve to be locked up in an 8 by 10 cell. Inches that is...
March 20
This was told
to me as a true story.
As a hobby, the
wife of a friend
of a friend taught their cat to talk. She started when it was just
a kitten, spending hours teaching it to say short words like "hello."
The cat couldn't put together meaningful phrases, but it did learn
to imitate certain vocal sounds.
Later, when the
cat was an adult, it began mewling weird unintelligible vocal
sounds
on its own — long phrases
of word-like vowels and dipthongs all strung together.
The owners
were disturbed by this behavior, and they actually considered
taking the cat to a pet psychologist. But before they got around
to it, the cat ran in front of a car.
When someone suggested,
half in jest, that it might have been suicide, the husband said,
"Yes, we thought of that."
*Source: http://www.museumofconceptualart.com/stories/thetalkingcat.html
(Check out that site for more cool and amazing information for just about everything!!)
March 09
Was prowling around the neighborhood dumpsters the other day when I spotted a familiar-looking book. I remember when one of the pathetic humans was going through a tough time; she couldn't put down a stupid little manual entitled "He's Just Not That into you". At first glance this book appeared to be the one and the same, but on closer inspection I noticed there was a feline on the cover instead of a telephone. I clawed my way through the pages and could not believe how simple, funny and accurate it was. The book is actually called "Your Cat's Just Not that into you" by Richard Smith. Why didn't I think of this sooner? In any case, here is an excerpt that is sure to tantalize:
HOW PREDICTABLE IS KITTY?
The Five Great Behavioral Equations:
1. BOLTZMAN'S PRINCIPLE OF LEAST ACTION: SoC + WoSB + HM = FRM
APPLICATION: Determining Kitty's resistance to being moved.
TRANSLATION: SoC (Sleepiness of Cat) plus WoSB (Warmth of sunbeam cat is basking in) plus HM (How Much cat has had to eat) equals FRM (Force Required to Move cat)
2. I am too lazy to write the rest, but let me know if you are interested.
February 24
Excerpts from a Dog's Daily Diary:
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite
thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary:
Day 683 of my captivity:
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They
dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash
or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the
rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to
keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the floor.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet.
I
had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly
demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made
condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. The
audacity!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was
placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event.
However,
I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my
confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this
means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today
I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try
this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced
that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.
The
dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released and seems to
be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded!
The
bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the
guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My
captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell,
so he is safe ....
... for now...
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