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8月6日 July was a bit of an exciting month for me; so much so that I forgot to write a damn word. Explored the prairies a little in Winnipeg, hit big city life in Toronto and wandered through the capital airport. Don't know what it is about this country, but I am starting to feel that there is more to it than Montreal and I aim to discover as much as I can about it in the next few months. I've always known deep down that there must be something more than the man-beaten paths of the suburban parks and I am finally ready to see for myself just how much this cast country has to offer...
6月27日 PETSBEST: PROTECTION EVERY PET DESERVES
With Pets Best you don't worry about paying for your pet's medical care.
A question we hear often is “Do I really need
pet insurance?” Like other family members, young pets have the highest risk of accidents, and older
pets face problems of aging. To help your decision, we've prepared
10 Things You Should Know
before buying pet insurance.
Pets Best pays 80% of regular veterinary care, emergencies, and even specialists for covered illnesses
and accidents.
See how a
Pets Best policy works,
how you
get more,
and
save money
with Pets Best.
Choose any veterinarian to treat your pet. Instead of complicated benefit schedules or restrictions,
you'll get straightforward reimbursement for your pet's eligible medical care – even after hours!*Source: http://www.petsbest.com/?%20origin=spca
6月19日 Fur is starting to get dirty from running on 5-foot high grass that the human is too damn lazy to cut... if only her mother could see that, she would certainly have a heart attack! On the plus side, having super long grass hides nests of all kind of species. Some days I tumble on a group of bees trying to make honey. I love casually prancing by and destroying everything they worked so hard to produce. Every now and then one attempts to sting me, but they never succeed due to all the crap that my fur is covered in. One day I found a dead one that probably got stuck in the sap on my back and suffocated. Next up, grasshoppers!!
5月21日 Well life is Montreal is obviously nothing compared to beautiful Turkey, but I have to say that as the weather heats up, this place is not looking so bad. More cats are out and about, and the streets are full of bugs and mice just waiting to get licked. Sometimes I just find a sunny spot on the porch and lie for hours at a time. That is one of the many advantages of having no job, car, relationship or hobby. Why humans complicate their lives with all that crap is beyond me, but I guess they would not be able to buy me delicious cat food if they didn't earn money... Someone really needs to tell them that being a cat is really much better than anything in the world and I wouldn't trade my fur for anything!!
5月1日 Excuse my absence as I've been wondering the heavenly streets of Istanbul and Adana in Turkey. I had heard that this country harboured truckloads of cats my the square meter, but had no idea how beautiful each and every one would turn out to be. One could not turn a street corner without seeing half a dozen beauties basking under in the Mediterranean sun. Of all the Middle Eastern countries I have been to or heard the humans discussing, this one stands out the most. It stands between civilized Europe and underdeveloped Asia, but what truly makes it unique is the number of scrumptious felines. The funny thing is that they are treated as equals; cats roaming the street searching for food need not look further than an outdoor dinner table where one can easily find them drinking warm milk or licking the remains of meat-filled plates that patrons have kindly left behind as a token of their appreciation. This is definitely a place worth returning to someday... 4月10日 Tips On Cooking Your Pet A Home-Cooked Meal, American Veterinary Medical Association
In the wake of the recent pet food recalls the idea of home-cooked pet food has grown in appeal to some pet owners. The American Veterinary Medical Association (AVMA) warns that preparing a meal for a pet at home is no simple task. While our pets are an important part of American households, they have very unique nutritional needs. Most importantly, the AVMA warns pet owners against feeding pets table scraps or human food in lieu of commercial pet food. Many foods that humans love to eat can be deadly if ingested by pets. "Table scraps should definitely not be a part of your pet's diet," said AVMA President Roger Mahr, DVM. "Gravies, meat fats and poultry skin can readily cause stomach and intestinal upsets, and even lead to a life-threatening condition called pancreatitis in dogs. Bones will splinter when chewed and cannot be digested by the animal's system. Chocolate can be poisonous to them, but it tastes good so pets will eat it if they have the opportunity. Dark chocolate used in baking is particularly dangerous to pets, and xylitol - a common sweetener in baked goods - has been linked with liver failure and death in dogs." The AVMA does not recommend that people attempt to prepare home-cooked meals for their pets because pet nutrition is very complicated and unique to species and individual animals. If you are certain you wish to cook for your pet, the AVMA does recommend you first consult with your veterinarian and do some research on appropriate diets for your pet. A pet owner should only consider recipes for pet food that are developed for dogs or cats by veterinarians or trained professionals in animal nutrition. Dr. Tony Buffington, DVM, Ph.D., an Ohio State University College of Veterinary Medicine professor of clinical sciences and a member of the AVMA, agrees that preparing food for your pet can be tricky. In the event a pet owner is determined to make pet food at home, he recommends Home-Prepared Dog & Cat Diets: the Healthful Alternative by Dr. Donald Strombeck as a good cookbook for pets. Dr. Buffington also recommends www.petdiets.com as one the best Web sites on home-cooked pet diets. But Dr. Buffington also cautions that it is hard to match the balanced pet diets provided with commercial pet foods in a home-cooked meal for pets, because commercial foods are formulated by professionals trained in veterinary nutrition. "If your pet is healthy and doing well on the pet food it is currently eating, and the food is not on the recalled products list, there is no reason to change their diet," said Dr. Mahr. The AVMA (American Veterinary Medical Association), founded in 1863, is one of the oldest and largest veterinary medical organizations in the world, with more than 75,000 member veterinarians engaged in a wide variety of professional activities. AVMA members are dedicated to advancing the science and art of veterinary medicine including its relationship to public health and agriculture. Visit the AVMA Web site at www.avma.org to learn more about veterinary medicine and animal care and to access up-to-date information on the association's issues, policies and activities. *Source: www.avma.org4月4日 Chatting with a bunch of ugly cats in the neighborhood and came to a realization that most felines are treated better than me. They don't even understand how I find the time to write these damn entries (as few as they are at the moment) as they are all too busy playing with their fake mouse toys, getting fed REAL food or being pet or brushed for the 20th time in any given day. I try to shrug it off as a ruse for mocking me, but I can truly see their fur glistening under the dim, slimy light that hangs over an insomniac's room. For some reason, this seriously aggravates me since all I really want to do is love and be loved... Ha! Yeah right!! Let's face it; I get what I deserve and in my case, I probably deserve to be locked up in an 8 by 10 cell. Inches that is...
3月20日 This was told
to me as a true story.
As a hobby, the
wife of a friend
of a friend taught their cat to talk. She started when it was just
a kitten, spending hours teaching it to say short words like "hello."
The cat couldn't put together meaningful phrases, but it did learn
to imitate certain vocal sounds.
Later, when the
cat was an adult, it began mewling weird unintelligible vocal
sounds
on its own — long phrases
of word-like vowels and dipthongs all strung together.
The owners
were disturbed by this behavior, and they actually considered
taking the cat to a pet psychologist. But before they got around
to it, the cat ran in front of a car.
When someone suggested,
half in jest, that it might have been suicide, the husband said,
"Yes, we thought of that." *Source: http://www.museumofconceptualart.com/stories/thetalkingcat.html (Check out that site for more cool and amazing information for just about everything!!)
3月9日 Was prowling around the neighborhood dumpsters the other day when I spotted a familiar-looking book. I remember when one of the pathetic humans was going through a tough time; she couldn't put down a stupid little manual entitled "He's Just Not That into you". At first glance this book appeared to be the one and the same, but on closer inspection I noticed there was a feline on the cover instead of a telephone. I clawed my way through the pages and could not believe how simple, funny and accurate it was. The book is actually called "Your Cat's Just Not that into you" by Richard Smith. Why didn't I think of this sooner? In any case, here is an excerpt that is sure to tantalize:
HOW PREDICTABLE IS KITTY?
The Five Great Behavioral Equations:
1. BOLTZMAN'S PRINCIPLE OF LEAST ACTION: SoC + WoSB + HM = FRM
APPLICATION: Determining Kitty's resistance to being moved.
TRANSLATION: SoC (Sleepiness of Cat) plus WoSB (Warmth of sunbeam cat is basking in) plus HM (How Much cat has had to eat) equals FRM (Force Required to Move cat)
2. I am too lazy to write the rest, but let me know if you are interested.
2月24日 Excerpts from a Dog's Daily Diary:
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite
thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary:
Day 683 of my captivity:
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They
dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash
or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the
rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to
keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the floor.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet.
I
had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly
demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made
condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. The
audacity!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was
placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event.
However,
I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my
confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this
means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today
I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try
this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced
that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.
The
dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released and seems to
be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded!
The
bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the
guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My
captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell,
so he is safe ....
... for now... 2月2日 Well I made a genuine effort to be nicer in January, but am not feeling so nice anymore... Weather is too cold even with my uncombed, dirty and long fur coat. Humans are locking me in their filthy house all day and there are not even any mice or bugs to chase because they are all hibernating. So after trying to clean the house with my fur, I gave up and started shitting all over the place and tearing up the already ruined furniture... The funny thing is no one even seems to notice. Whether I'm nice or not, they will always think I am just this cute, innocent pet that can do no deliberate harm. What a relief, not that I ever really cared though!
PS: Boredom has led me to: http://artichoke.spaces.live.com/ - Check out "Roman Cats" in the Photo section. I will certainly have to make that my next vacation destination...
1月8日 Now that 2007 is well in gear, I have made a New Year's resolution: To be a nicer cat. I know a lot of humans and cats alike will not believe me, but I am meowing the truth. So far I got off to a good start. I killed a spider that was living in the humans' bathroom, I have also knocked over an ugly vase that nobody ever liked and I even ate a big, juicy steak that surely would have made Nadia really fat. I have been doing all these favours and I will continue to do so until I feel like the world, or at least this house, is a better place. For now I am setting my sights on cleaning the house by using my fur to dust. I am already seeing major improvements, but by year's end I am hoping to make this place look like a real class act...
1月2日 Ugly toy that got lost after 2 min of fun: $4.00
"Special" gourmet cat food that got eaten in 2 min: $2.00
Time spent destroying the Christmas tree: 2 min
There are some things stupid people spend their money on, for the destruction of all those things... there's ME!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ANYONE WHO HAS A CREDIT CARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
12月17日 "Mad World"
All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places, worn out faces
Bright and early for their daily races
Going nowhere, going nowhere
And their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression, no expression
Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow
No tomorrow, no tomorrow
And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you
'Cos I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It's a very, very
Mad World
Children waiting for the day they feel good
Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday
Made to feel the way that every child should
Sit and listen, sit and listen
Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me, no one knew me
Hello teacher tell me what's my lesson
Look right through me, look right through me
-Tears for Fears/Gary Jules, Michael Andrews 12月16日 Made it back in one piece, although they had to drug me on the flight because I could not stop chasing an ugly mouse that was freaking out the cabin crew. Was surprised to experience such warm weather for mid-December, but I have no problem with it... Wanted to do some Christmas shopping but turned around when I found no place to park my cage. Think I will wonder the nearby forest and search for samples of dead rodents and used toys; that would be great to give to the humans as Christmas presents... They actually bought a mini tree in the hopes of bringing some joy to the house, but I fell on top of it and shed half the needles "by accident".
12月4日 After having received little to no response to my previous inquiry, I have packed my things and gone to Czech Republic. Well I don't really need to pack, in fact, I am what is being packed, but I digress. After one of the humans decided to leave this cold wretched country for a few days, I decided to join her. Not that the weather here is drastically better, but one stays dry and does not slip... So far I have only met one Czech cat and I think it had Down syndrome. The language here is incomprehensible and when people see you, they stare as if just having seen a ghost. I think there are too many dogs and maybe they have killed all the cats in a past generation. I don't know what else it could be? I see a dog on every street corner; they prance around leash less and follow their owners with total obedience and I must jump into the human's handbag to avoid detection. Well let's hope I make it out alive this time... 11月23日 November came and almost went and I haven't written a damn thing. I apologize, just as I promised to write more, here I go and write so so much less... Situation at home has been less than optimal; the humans are getting drunk and stupid a lot more frequently and they are becoming too stupid to even feed me. So after spending a few days at the neighbors and giving them a fright, they have finally decided to clean my shitbox and buy me more food. Good thing to, as I was getting ready to boycott this forsaken house. What is the point of living in a big empty house when there is no one there to take care of you? Anyway, as a result I will be on the market for a better place to live in 2007. If anyone is interested in me, here is my profile:
Name: Sake
Age: 2 or 3
Colour: Black and gray
Eyes: Yellow
Status: Single
Kids: Never
Appetite: Endless
So if anyone out there feels they have a need for a bitchy, demanding cat, give me a buzz. Well actually I can't technically answer the phone, but you can always leave a comment here... 10月24日 The only good thing about the month of October is Halloween... Weather can't decide whether to start snowing real early or to just drown us in rain. This is BAD weather for cats and humans alike. Stupid dogs don't care; they still want to be walked and their owners have no choice but to take them. Thank Heavens I am not a dog, the way they go about smelling each other and eating their own shit, you'd think they got stuck in the Middle Ages. They prance in a ubiquitous fashion and think they are man's best friend. Well they got one thing right: Cats are definitely NOT man's best friend. Frankly I'd say we are quite possible man's worst enemy... I don't think I need to dwell any further on the differences between our two species because if you are reading this, you must already agree with me and if you don't well then you can go to hell... 10月9日 In the old days, cats were so important to ancient Egyptians that killing one, even by accident, was punishable by death. Ancient Egyptians had to check under their chariots before pulling out to keep from running over cats. Nowadays people drive their cars and think that the road is made for them alone. It is so frustrating and dangerous that it almost makes me want to stay home with the humans. Anyway, winter is coming soon, so people will be sliding all over the place and then they will know what it feels like to not have full control of the road... 10月2日 Sorry that I haven't been writing much the past few weeks. Can't say that I've been busy as that would be a lie. Think that lazy and drunk would be more honest. This month will mark a year since my death and maybe I've been trying to forget that... In any case I must now decide whether I want to keep this thing going or shut it down. For now I'm going to keep it going unless I hear any objections. Hopefully the cold weather seeping in will inspire me to be more cynical, mean and let's face it funny than before. Hope that you keep reading and leave me some feedback from time to time. Have a GREAY day!!
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